Pitch-mire, noun: The seemingly interminable span of time between the beginning of the forced ad the millisecond when you can, and do, skip the ad. While in the pitch-mire, you watch the seconds count down, forcing yourself not to look at or listen to the commercial. You vow to never buy the product that’s being advertised and curse the fact that you live in an era where you can’t watch a blooper reel without having to view a friggin Mylanta commercial. During the middle seconds, and since you’re on the clock, you wonder if you shouldn’t just cancel out of the window and do your actual job, but that thought takes 2-3 seconds, nudging you that much closer to the sweet release of the blooper reel. Just before the countdown is over, you wonder if the advertiser knows how hated they’ve become during this relatively short interval and that, instead of a potential customer, they’ve created a monster determined to sabotage their business. Then the blooper reel starts and your blood pressure goes down and you watch Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly clips for the hundredth time.