Oh, The Ways I Could Go
This is for all of the people that ponder their own demise –
and why not reflect on it while paying homage to the great Dr. Seuss?
Am I the only one to stop and dwell
on how I’ll die and if I fell
and where it was and who could see
and if the end was on TV?
A shark could bite me right in half
or I could O.D. in the bath–
or freeze to death while stuck outside
or get derailed on a subway ride.
Or I could burn up in a crash
or get compacted with the trash–
a falling tree could squish me flat,
or catch a virus from a rat.
Terrorists could blow me up
or dump some poison in my cup;
my flight to Rome may get shot down–
I may get stabbed to death downtown.
Or I could just fall down some stairs.
A random man would find me there–
he’d lean in close and check for life.
Authorities would call my wife.
I could get run over, choke on steak,
or drown like Jason in Crystal Lake.
A lightning bolt, malignant tumor,
a crazed colleague with no sense of humor.
Or maybe I’ll just fall down dead.
That’s the scene stuck in my head.
Just like that, my heart will stop–
no real sign and there I’ll drop.
I hope if that’s the way I go
that everyone will always know
the last thing that I ever did
was something fit to tell my kids.
Not reading smut or driving drunk
or with a strange man in a trunk–
no time to squirm or sugar coat
or write “you caught me” on a note.