Kanye West Approached By Sock Puppet, 12 Killed in Sudden Rampage
Sesame Street, USA (AP) – Eight people and four Muppets have died following a maniacal outburst by musician, Kanye West. During a guest appearance on the iconic children’s show, Sesame Street, West was to share a scene with the beloved character, Loogie, a harmless sock that speaks in a squeaky lisp. When approached by the hand puppet, West launched into a string of angry profanities before attacking. Bart Heidelbaum, respected voice actor and puppeteer for Loogie, had his right arm ripped from its socket and died at the scene due to blood loss. West then commenced to swing the dismembered arm and struck several bystanders and Muppets. After his outburst, it has been reported that West said, “Who wants some more?” before stalking off with his entourage.
Longtime Sesame Street resident Count Von Count survived the attack and offered a statement to gathering reporters. “It was totally unexpected. One minute Loogie is standing there singing about his pet worm, then all of a sudden he’s ripped apart and used as a weapon. Kanye swung him once, twice, three times and just kept going. I lost count of how many times he went around. I’m in complete shock.”
Authorities hope to interview Kanye West tonight at the Critic’s Choice Music Awards, where he is nominated for six Doozies. West should be considered armed and dangerous.