Do the Doo

Illustration by Nina Bays

It’s a funny thing to feel 

right there on your lap: 

in the middle of his meal, 

your baby takes a crap. 

  

His body starts to squirm, 

he’s grunting like a boar, 

with both legs flexed and firm— 

and not the smell he was before. 

  

Yet it doesn’t seem so bad 

when you stop to think it through: 

all your baby had to do 

to make that batch of poo. 

  

It starts with just a craving 

and a bottle in the mouth: 

just look at what he’s saving 

as the liquid’s heading south. 

  

The fat, it helps the baby grow 

and keeps the system strong. 

Minerals, they seem to know 

to speed that growth along. 

  

Vitamins, they treat the skin, 

the organs, and the eyes. 

Calcium helps the body win 

the Best in Bones first prize. 

  

So what’s coming out the baby 

is the stuff he doesn’t need– 

ironically, he’s cleaning up 

each time he does the deed. 

  

Even if you find a way 

to embrace his number two, 

surely there will come a day 

when he leaves his mark on you. 

  

For a diaper is designed 

to keep the poopy in– 

but the factory must mess one up 

every now and then.

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