Snow Shoveling to Become Olympic Sport
In order to widen its television audience, the International Olympic Committee has voted unanimously to make Snow Shoveling an Olympic Sport for the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi, Russia. Committee President Jacques Rogge released the following statement, “There is a tremendous disconnect between spectators and the actual Olympic sports they observe. Many have never skied, bobsledded, or curled anything other than their hair. The events are confusing, dull, or so extreme that the average viewer cannot comprehend what they are even watching.”
The sport of Snow Shoveling is a pastime enjoyed by millions of people, with new fans emerging every winter. This winter alone, hundreds of thousands of newcomers have purchased their own gear and can be seen practicing outside of their avalanched homes on any given morning.
Don Hickey, a mechanic from San Antonio points out the appeal, “I mean, really, what do I care about the Ski Jump? And the Biathlon has rifle shooting, but to pair it with cross country skiing is just plain odd. Who comes up with this stuff? Snow shoveling is something that I can wrap my brain around. I’ve never shoveled snow, per se, but I’ve shoveled other things so that qualifies me to be a genuine fan.”