John Edwards Voted Husband of the Year in Alternate Universe
In a controversial announcement overnight, John Edwards was voted Husband of the Year in Etisoppo, an alternate universe that lies between the 4th dimension and the Blue Crab Nebula. A spokesman for the Etisoppian civilization, Carl Fleming, made comments to the press before unveiling a bronze likeness of Mr. Edwards on the hallowed grounds of the Dickwad Sculpture Garden. Fleming noted, “John Edwards was an obvious choice for this award. As if being a slimy combination of lawyer and politician weren’t enough, he also committed the most egregious and shocking kind of adultery in recent memory, conceiving a baby with his skank mistress immediately following the news that his wife has inoperable breast cancer. We applaud his ingenuity, vision, and appalling selfishness.” The spokesperson then presented the statue and proceeded to slither underneath a large rock to the immediate left of the podium.