A Mockin’ New Year’s Eve

If your family is anything like mine, tonight will be less about getting drunk and more about staying up long enough to watch Dick Clark mugging uncomfortably for the camera. Witnessing his sad deterioration is like watching the ball drop in annual snapshots and honestly, it’s a weird way to celebrate. Since his stroke in 2004, ABC has called on him to reflect on the passing of another year, provide a snapshot of his health, and report on the crowd, weather, and mood in Times Square. With each year, that screen time is getting shorter and shorter—this year we may merely catch a glimpse of Clark during the end credits underneath a pile of confetti. I applaud the decision to keep him busy and the illustration that elderly stroke victims can lead meaningful and productive lives, but if they are going to have his involvement, why not keep him on the whole time? Don’t cart him to the set at 12:15 am. He’s tired by then. Let him start the show and leave the closing to the young bucks. It’s almost like they are hiding him from public scrutiny yet are contractually obligated to reveal him—maybe it’s a stipulation for using the phrase “New Years Rockin’ Eve” in the program title.

It’s odd when our entertainment hosts become the entertainment. How do these people achieve such fame and popularity? Clearly, hosts are expected to last and I fear that we will be stuck watching Ryan Seacrest age for the rest of his life. My own kids will one day gaze upon Seacrest and marvel at old he has become while simultaneously witnessing the ascension of his on-air replacement.

I guess this is merely a byproduct of being among an aging television demographic.  Not only are we watching programs and commercials, but we are witnessing a glacial changing of the guard and how that overly enthusiastic host represents his or her generation. And the realization that we are getting older is only heightened by the parade of lame musical acts that come between awkward hosting bits and the street interviews with morons wearing oversized 2010 sunglasses and kissing their drunken french kisses. Enjoy it while you can, revelers! Soon enough you will be on the couch critiquing the spectacle and fighting to stay awake until midnight.

Enjoy the show and Happy New Years! Cheers~

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