The Absolute Worst Movie Concepts

There you are at the beginning of a movie. You’re watching the preview of an upcoming film and you think, “Who comes up with this garbage? How does a turd like that make it through the studio and onto film?” Well, for every bomb you sit through there are 1,000 terrible movie projects that never make it to development. How bad are those ideas? Let’s look at  a few film projects that were dead on arrival.

HALLOWEEN 364

HALLOWEEN 364

Horror icon Michael Myers—Mister Murder and Mayhem himself—is a Halloween tradition. But besides the one night of bloodshed, what does he do the rest of the year? This film examines the other side of Michael Myers. What does he do in his down time? What are his hobbies? How does he spend the other holidays? This time, it’s personal.

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300 DALMATIANS

300 dalmatiansMichael Vick has been using his Bad Newz Kennelz as an evil laboratory. Raised on the thrill of fighting and with a taste for human blood, this breed of killer canines is nearly indestructible. What happens when they chew through their enclosures and swarm the suburbs? Let’s just say Virginia hasn’t seen this much bloodletting since Manassas.

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THE TRAPPER KEEPER

TRAPPER KEEPERIn this modern retelling of the Alzheimer weepfest, The Notebook, we find high school lovebirds Suzie and Thad. She writes him notes and lovingly jots his name in every margin in her bookbag. At a party she gets blitzed on P.J. and sooo wants to hook up with Jake. Can her friends keep her faithful by reading to her from her Trapper Keeper?

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RAIN MAN ON THE MOON

rain man on moonOur favorite autistic number cruncher leads a team of misfit astronauts to the moon and beyond in this dramatic comedy. When a lunar storm puts the mission in peril, will his heroic calculations be enough to save his men? Definitely see it, definitely…

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SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER BLISTER

sat night fever blisterJohn Travolta is Tony Moreno, a young poor street punk from Brooklyn.  But when you can move, a dance floor is the great equalizer and Tony is able to rise above his humble existence when he hits the disco. Disaster comes in the swollen, pus-filled shape of a fever blister. Will this lip mishap keep him off of the dance floor? Will anyone really notice with all of the strobe lights and coked-up hotties everywhere. Can Barry Gibb write a theme song about a fever blister?___________________________________________________________

By: Mike and Will Beeson

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4 Responses to “The Absolute Worst Movie Concepts”

  1. Nice work guys. I wouldn’t count these out, they might make it past the conceptual phase if you just believe. Think of porn. Some pretty stupid titles have made it. Maybe not to the silver screen, but to the secret back room of your local video store. Try “Driving Miss Daisy Crazy,” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0121222/ … or “Edward Penis Hands” http://www.somethingawful.com/d/horrors-of-porn/edward-penishands.php

  2. Is there really an “Edwards Penis Hands?” That’s hysterical. I have a pretty good idea of how the scenes go but thanks for the link. I appreciate the “The Burning Bed Bugs” idea too–that would make a good campy horror movie.

  3. Intresting, this was actually a very great read! thanks

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